I Can Feel You

Dear Uche,

I’d say it was such a hard day for you, but it’s actually been such a hard week. This job is sucking the life from you like in the movie Hocus Pocus (an American classic you must watch). This is the reason I offered you the money to buy yourself out of the job early and I know that it was likely the wrong thing to do, but I did it from a genuine place. This time instead of being culturally insensitive by offering you money, I am trying to lean into my femininity to help you by being an even more cheery and upbeat to help lift your spirits. Though I want you to have relief, it is truly a selfish endeavor because I so desperately feed off of your infectious energy. Whenever you or I call each other, I can guarantee you will greet me like we hadn’t talked in days when we had probably just talked hours prior. It makes me feel as thought I am transported back to my childhood and my childhood crush finally started liking me. Sheer excitement everytime. You are so full of zest for life and positivity and if I could, I would destroy everything that takes that from you, including this damn job.

Or, am I jealous your job gets more of you than I do. How could I be jealous from 8000+ miles away? It’s because something flipped. When you casually mentioned this week that you were thinking about wanting to wake up to me everyday I was so stunned. Have we always been on the same page about our feelings for one another? You have brought so much to my life in a month. You calm my nervous system in such an unexpected way. I thought I needed constant contact in order to feel secure but it turns out I just needed someone who knew how to communicate and was consistent. Who knew, good morning and good night messages were meaningless this whole time.

Being with you has brought me closer to me. And she’s someone that wants to be closer to you…in due time.

With Tender Love,

Victoria