V-Day

Uche,
I can promise you I thought tomorrow would never come—the day I decided to give you this link. But will you even have time to read it with all your work? Will you think it’s too much? That I’ve gone overboard? The doubts always creep in when we step out of our comfort zones, and right now, mine are showing up.

But more than anything, I hope that when you read this, you understand exactly what I mean when I say, “I love you.” That everything about you is lovable and deserving of love, attention, care, and support.

In just a few days, we’ll be together, and I can show you exactly what I mean. 😉

Love,
Victoria

Day Shift

Dear Uche,

Today, I am deep in my feelings about what the psychic said on Sunday. One of your two flaws—your critical nature and the fact that you are so busy—is suddenly glaringly obvious now that it's been pointed out to me. I mean, I knew you were a workaholic, but babe, you give that job every ounce of your energy, and when you finally come home to talk with me, I get the sleepy version of you. I mentioned before that I felt like your job gets the best of you every day, and I have to wait until the weekend for my turn.

But on Monday, I saw a different side of you—you were the most alive after work that I’ve ever seen you. That moment was so special, and I was living for every second. Conversations with you are like the perfect sweet and savory dessert that never runs out. Maybe the time apart teaches me patience and gratitude for the moments we do have. Patience is a lesson I have yet to master, but I’m realizing it’s essential in a relationship. Can you see it, too? Your presence alone pushes me to reflect on my own behaviors, to grow, to evolve. I can’t imagine how 40+ years of living with you as my mirror will transform my mindset for the better. I love you just for existing.

And I can’t forget the moment that melted me most—when you told me you had been quietly observing my habits. You noticed how much I love places with good views of the city or water, and because of that, you’ve been planning to take me to places in Lagos with breathtaking views. That kind of thoughtfulness is beyond me. I still don’t know how you figured that out from my pictures and the little things I’ve said. That’s not something I’ve ever told anyone, yet you noticed, acknowledged it, and acted on it. You’re the first person to do that. This must be what feeling like a princess feels like.

That single moment completely outweighed any feelings I had at the start of this letter about not getting enough phone time today. I won’t edit that part of this letter, though, because I want you to see it in real time—how simply thinking about something I love about you completely shifts my mood. You are my antidote. What is the word for that in your language? That’s your new name.

Loving you authentically,
Victoria

Necessary Torture

Dear Uche,

It is amazing to me how much I still miss you every single time you are busy with work or some activity with a friend or Nessa. It's been nearly 5 months of daily convos, and it still requires such restraint not to double and triple text you all day.

There's something about our conversations—about you—that puts me at ease. There's no coincidence that my mood and mental health have been so stable since you came into my life. A sense of calmness befalls me whenever I think about you.

The yearning I have to talk to you might actually be good for me. It might drive me crazy, but it also makes every moment with you even sweeter. It makes the relationship feel so new, even though we are going on 5 months (but really 7 years of knowing of each other). I almost need it now—though it tortures me to no end—it makes every day feel like I’m counting down to something beautiful.

I just love you so much. I love who you are and how you make me feel. I can't wait to see you in 8 days.

Xoxo,

Vic

Del-Uche-nal

Dear Uche,

I literally lost my breath when my stepmom said, "Consider the possibility that he might not get the visa, and you would have invested all those feelings in this for nothing." It was like she had cracked open a door I didn’t even realize was locked. Until that moment, it had never occurred to me that we wouldn’t be together forever after two years of navigating the visa process. We've both been so sure—so certain—but for some reason, I let her words plant a seed of doubt.

You were right about the visa. It was supposed to arrive in March, and yet, it came the first week of February. Who’s to say your visa process won’t follow the same path? Why should I expect the worst when, time and time again, life proves that good things come—even ahead of schedule?

I used to think being delusional was a flaw. That it meant ignoring reality, setting yourself up for disappointment. But I’m learning that in the waiting, in the unknown, choosing hope is its own kind of wisdom. Like you always ask me, what if it works out?

I can’t wait to be your wife one day, to have 24/7 access to your optimism, your enthusiasm, your unwavering belief that things will unfold in our favor. It’s already doing wonders for my mental health, for my heart. And I love you for that.

Love always,
Vic

More Than Yesterday

Dear Uche,

It’s a wonder how you manage to outdo yourself every single day—loving me better than you did yesterday. Just when I think I've felt the deepest love possible from you, you find a way to surpass even that, making me feel even more cherished and adored.

When I asked you if you wanted marriage because of me or because it was simply your goal and I happened to be around and willing, you could have simply said, "You, of course, babe," and I would have been satisfied. But instead, you gave me scripture—your own King Uche version of Proverbs 31:10-31. That moment, hearing you read it, hearing you annotate it with the parts you believe reflect me, was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. I had never heard that passage before, but now, it’s etched into my heart—not because of what it says, but because of how you made it ours.

And I realized something else that night—how calming your voice is when you read to me. How it settles me in a way I didn't know I needed. I want more of that, more of you teaching me, guiding me, reading to me every night, even if only for a little while. You’ve talked about wanting to bring me closer to the Bible—maybe this is how. Maybe this is one of the ways we draw closer to each other.

You inspire something new in me every day—not just in how I see the world, but in how I see us, in the infinite ways we can weave our lives together. I want to be so close to you that even sharing the same skin wouldn't feel like enough.

So tell me, my love, how will you outdo yourself tomorrow?

Forever wanting more,

Victoria

The Dimmed Light of Hope

Dear Uche,  

Not knowing when I will be able to see you has been haunting my days. I read so many articles on long distance relationships and having something to look forward to was high on the list of things that keep the spark of hope alive and mine has been shattered. You are so calm about this. I admire how you can face adversity with a steady hand. I, on the other hand, am shaky in the face of setbacks, though I do recover…eventually. Another reason why I need you and why we need each other.

One good thing to come out of this delayed visa process is that I am becoming more and more sure that you are the person I want to be with. You are such a constant, reliable and joyful part of my everyday life that I would never want to imagine any of my days without you. It’s a good thing I don’t ever have to think of that because you are mine forever. And, I too, am yours always.  

Xoxo,

Vic

Letter from a Prisoner of Love

Dear Uche,

The days feel slower and harder to get through the busier you are. I’ve grown so accustomed to our daily conversations that I am going through withdrawals when your job starts sweating its asset—you! I hate seeing you worn down by something that doesn’t bring you joy, and it hurts to watch someone I care about suffer this way. Why won’t you resign? You’ve told me it’s draining you, even making you sick. I told you I would help. But I know your answer—you’re scared to be poor.

Well, I’m scared to be without you. So where does that leave us?

I’ve always admired your drive and ambition; it’s one of the things I love most about you. You’re building something for your future, and I respect that deeply. But still, I can’t deny that I want more of your attention, more of you.

You once told me we need to have other things in our lives besides each other, and I do. You know I do. But I still can’t stop thinking about you and talking to you. If that’s a crime, then put me in the prison of love.

Yours always,
Vicc

The Distance Between U.S.

Dear Uche,

Today, I’m struggling with being away from you. I’ve found myself Googling articles about long-distance relationships and how to cope. Sundays are especially hard because you dedicate them to family and friends, and I feel so left out. It’s particularly tough since I don’t spend my Sundays the same way—I’m alone, and without you, they feel so empty.

I’m trying to stay independent and fill my life without you, but you’re a large part of my thoughts every single day. I wish I could talk to you all the time, but I know you need your freedom. Everything feels so hard today. Can I do this for two years? It’s already challenging, and it’s only been three months. I already feel the urge to book my next trip to Nigeria, even before my first visit.

This relationship has taught me so much about myself. I’ve realized that quality time is my true love language, even though I once thought it was acts of service or words of affirmation. Quality time—whether through messages, video chats, or even sharing Instagram reels—makes me feel so loved and cared for. I just feel so needy right now, and I don’t know how to cope.

I know this is my battle to fight, but I’m writing this with tears in my eyes because it’s so hard. I want more, but I know you can’t give that to me right now. I have to decide what I can handle and whether I can handle this.

No matter what, I love you.

Vic

Read Eyes

My Dearest Uche,

Today, during our video call, I noticed your eyes were red. When I asked you about it, you said that’s how I’d know you’re sick. I can’t help but think back to when we first met—you didn’t have red eyes then because you were on leave from work, finally enjoying some peace after being so stressed. Now your eyes are constantly red, and it scares me.

I can’t bear to think about your health suffering, especially now that I’ve just begun to imagine a life with you. I want you to know that you’ll never have to work so hard that it makes you sick—not for me, not for us. I’ll learn to live on less if it means having you healthy and happy. You know how much I love my nice things, but I love you so much more than anything I’ve ever owned or anyone I’ve ever known.

I admire your dedication and how much you love doing a good job—it’s one of the many reasons I love you. But I don’t want to see you hurt or suffering. I’m counting down the days until you can leave that job behind and come to America with me. I know you’ll work hard here too, but we’ll have each other to share the load.

Until then, please take care of yourself—for you, for me, and for the future we’re building together.

Love always,
Victoria

My Beautiful Hero

Dear Uche,

Did I tell you how much I love you? I can't now because it feels too soon and I don't want to scare you away, but I am so in love with you. Today you singlehandedly took my mind off the most painful cramps I've had in years. Just being able to hear about your day was enough to take my mind off of my tummy. The icing on the cake was that we had an impromptu movie date on video chat. Watching The Burial with you was so fun because not only did you enjoy it, we had the best time bonding over being lawyers and how we would approach the case. I have to admit, you made my heart flutter every time you would look in the camera and smile at me and tell me I'm beautiful. I didn't get a chance to tell you, but you are such a gorgeous looking man. Your face was perfectly crafted by God to my liking. Your smile I could never have imagined even existed. Seeing you laugh and be happy is a sight that will never get old to me. I feel like the love we have already for one another has grown 5 times, so has my heart. I can't imagine even a day without you.

I'm yours forever even if you don't know that yet.

xoxo,

Victoria

Complimentary Gifts

To: My Love

Have I ever told you how much you have impacted my life since you came into it? Do you know how well you compliment my life?

Today was a pivotal day in our relationship; I told my dad and stepmom about you. I didn't tell you today, but I had no fear that they would be accepting of you because you are everything any parent would want for their daughter. I told them everything I love about you, just like what I told you tonight when you asked what attracts me to you. Even as I was talking about a completely unrelated topic after having told my dad, he interrupted me to tell me that I sounded happy and that's because I am. Because of you. I have not had a bad day since we started talking two months ago, and that's counting how terrible egg freezing was for me. You have brought so much additional joy and excitement to my life in such a spectacular way. Your energy towards life and being alive in general is infectious.

I feel like with you all the plans I had for my life feel even more complete. For example, I've been wanting to write a book since before I knew you. I was having a hard time with the topic and feeling uninspired. The second you show up I have what I believe is a best seller inspired by you. Another example is that I have been trying to figure out the best way to get back to Africa after having fallen out with my one friend who loves to travel as much as me. Then, just when I had resolved myself to European travel, you come along and now I can visit Nigeria, where I never would've gone otherwise. This is what I think it means to have someone be a compliment to your life and your goals and your dreams.

Just your presence has pushed me more over the last two months than the last year. Uche you are the compliment to my life that I never knew I needed or that I never knew I deserved. Earlier today you said I was your soulmate, well this is the stuff soulmate connections are made of. I love you entirely.

xoxo, Vic

“Dream Girl”

Dear Uche,

I’m sure you meant no harm when we talked about your “type” today, but your words have stuck with me in a way I can’t ignore, especially since I am falling in love with you. You see, it’s important for me to feel like I’m the woman a man has always dreamed of, not someone he had to compromise for or settle for. After that conversation, I can’t help but feel like I’m not all of what you truly want. It feels like you’re giving up something—your preference for a slimmer woman—just to be with me. And while I appreciate that you see beauty in me, it leaves me questioning how you really feel. It also leaves me saddened that if you choose me you'll never have what you truly want. I’m very sensitive about my weight and how I’m perceived, especially by the man I’m with. I’ve worked hard to be confident, but this has shaken me. I don’t want to feel like I’m a compromise or that I’m only here because I’m “good enough” in other ways. You deserve to be with someone who fulfills everything you want in a partner, and I deserve to feel like I’m someone’s dream girl. P.S. I always knew you were my dream guy.

Love,

Victoria

Love has Entered the Chat

Dear Uche,

Do you know that I love you? Maybe you do, but do you know how much? I long for the times we spend together on the phone, so much so that I don’t get much sleep because I am so excited for morning when I get to start my day talking to you. You make me feel beautiful, smart, safe, loved, adored, every single thing I have wanted to feel from the man that I am with. Today we talked on the phone for 3.5 hours and I could have gone another 3.5 hours if we had the time because talking to you feels as natural as breathing. You are such an easy going and fun guy to talk to and you always entertain whatever mood I am in. You give the most thoughtful advice about all things work to relationships. You show that you are serious and intentional about me and that turns me so deeply that sometimes I have not-so-pure thoughts about me and you. All this to say, you feel like home and that means you are my person.

It is so sexy how you keep trying to dance around the fact that you love me already and you don’t want to out right tell me. Nothing is more precious to me than this. The way you show me you love me and by showing that you care about me from 8000+ miles away. You are attentive to my texts and calls and always give me fulsome responses to everything I say. You FaceTime and call me whenever you get a free moment during the work day and every single evening until you go to bed. You talk about me to everyone who will listen and if you FaceTime me while you are out, I know I am going to meet one of your many friends. You include me in important decisions and you give me the best gossip about people I don’t even know. You are somehow now my best friend and, now, the man I love all in such a short time.

Not only do I hope that we do something crazy like have a secret marriage, I will actively pursue this with you when I get there because you’re the diamond I’ve been searching for in these rough streets. It’s likely you are reading this now because we have gotten married and I wanted you to have this artifact of our love. Just know I have loved you for longer than you’ve been trying to hide that you love me. We truly are two peas in pod.

I love you, my precious little pea :)

With all my heart,

Vicc

The Perfect Pick-Me-Up

Dear Uche,

Saturday you surprised me yet again with your ability to sit with me through my tough moments. This morning I was not in the best space—I was worried about money and generally all the things I have to do and that I had to do them alone. You showed me such compassion, comforting me with encouraging words and practical solutions like looking over my expenses and seeing where I can cut. You are my dream man. You’ve gotten the script that I’ve written for my perfect man and you are really expanding the role lol.

Seriously, I couldn’t be luckier than to have you in my corner because it’s like you bring me to life. If I were an outsider, I’d want to know what we were talking about and doing because life with you, even from afar, is so fun and vibrant—much more so than I’ve had with men who were close. Your joy is so infectious it travels across oceans and continents and lands right in my heart.

One day closer to loving you for forever.

Genuinely,

Vic

Our Mothers

Dearest Uche,

I woke up this morning singing my mother’s favorite song, You Are My Sunshine, so I know she visited me last night, I am reminded of how unfortunate it is that she won’t get to know and see how you treat me. But, we both believe that our mothers are up there in heaven giggling together and conspiring to get us together. Certainly they were laughing at us trying to find love amongst the people in our immediate vicinity. But you, you I never thought could exist so that’s how I know my mother had a hand in this. We have so many things in common with our mothers, they were both kind and generous. We inherited those traits and are excited to give them to one another. That excites me about you; you want to be in the arena with me and you want someone to seal the door from the outside so we both know neither of us are going anywhere.

We were even crazy enough to make a pact to act fake married until February so we have to work things out no matter what because I am not wasting money on these tickets. That spontaneity is my mother by the way. I thought you’d never meet her, but you are meeting her through me. You and her would be crazy together, she would have the time of her life. I am looking forward to having the time of my life with you. Oh, and I heard what you said on the phone tonight and I love you too. Deeply.

xoxo,

Vic

A Man Like You

Dear Uche,

Everyday it makes me want to cry thinking about the kind of person you are and I’m so grateful the powerful forces that brought us together. What’s moving me today is how much you care for Nessa when she was ill this past weekend made my heart so full. You were so concerned and I could tell you genuinely did not want her to be in the position she was. You were compassionate, kind and gentle with her in a way that has moved me to tears. How could I have found a man like this? There’s nothing that frightens me more than facing the end of my life in a health crisis and being met with the reality that the person I chose doesn’t care about me. With you I know that I’ll never have that thought. You’re the kind of caring person I’ve been searching for and you just appeared out of thin air. Actually your sister thinks the same of me, that I appeared out of nowhere. BAM! There I was and there you were and soon we it’ll be “here we are” when we meet.

Falling more deeply with each passing day, hour and minute.

Sincerely yours,

Victoria

Singing Voice

Dear Uche,

The song you sang to me—the one you said you would only sing on your wedding day, night, or when you met that really special person—was so special. I am purposefully not writing the name here so that it feels like the first time every time I hear you sing it to me.

I have found that I am getting a bit scared of our connection. Today when I told you I didn’t want to talk, you knew that really meant I still wanted to be on the phone and that I’d like to hear about your day. That will be the moment I look back on and say I fell in love. “That this was my person, he knows exactly how to handle me when I’m in a mood only my therapy sees.” I didn’t have to tell you, teach you or ask you. It was your natural proclivity towards me. You were in tuned with me and knew I needed to hear your work gossip to carry me through my sadness.

I want you to know that you are the voice I need to hear the loudest in my life. I’ve decided that for myself tonight. The lawyer to lawyers, the advisor to advisors, the lover of the lovers, and the servant to the servants. You are everything to everyone and I admire you for playing that role with such dignity and pride. You are a King in every sense of the word and I cannot believe we have crossed paths. I might’ve met a soulmate I would have never met if not for the forces of God.

Okay, I am scaring myself now. You’re sleeping now, so I hope you are having sweet dreams.

Hugs and kisses,

Vic

Butterflies

Dear Uche,

I beg you please tell me that you weren’t drunk when you sent those messages about wanting to do all my hard things for me. They gave me immediate butterflies, I had to screenshot them to read and re read. I can’t remember anyone ever saying anything like that to me before. Usually you Adams add to my troubles and hardships but you’re proving it doesn’t have to be like that. You definitely make all of my days better, not heavier. Actually, it’s a burden when I’m not talking to you because it’s just not as fun. We have such a good time together even if it’s through the phone.

I won’t lie though I got nervous today. What if we are being delusional and naive and this will never work? At the very least you brought me back to writing so it was worth it for that alone. And getting to spend any time with you is intoxicating— I feel like I’m capable of anything after our talks. You were the missing ingredient the whole time.

Love,

Vicky

The Thing About Being The Bait is You End Up Hooked, Too.

Dear Uche,

The picture I posted in October of this year that you responded to that kicked off our current developing relationship was actually a thirst trap that trapped you but now I am the one being trapped. Today, we talked for at least 5 hours on the phone and all day on text and yet I still found myself a little jealous of how you were enjoying being with your friends. I can’t lie, I love how much you enjoy them. You are such a precious gem of a human being. I am just so grateful to know you. Today was another turning point. The more we talk, the more I want to keep talking. You answer all my questions enthusiastically and fully and you listen to me attentively and with no judgment. We laugh and learn and flirt. It’s just such a fun time that I want to do 25 hours a day, 8 days a week.

It’s also making me really excited about coming to see you. This should be an objectively bad idea, but I just don’t feel that way. For some reason when I made the decision that it was something I wanted to do, the decision felt peaceful and ordained. It doesn’t feel unreasonable or like a bad or scary idea. It actually feels like I want to go sooner just so we can see if we are truly compatible, but I know we will be. What’s really important is that we simultaneously explore the opportunity of growing our relationship and remain open to the possibility of separating ways if our hearts’ desires take us in different directions. I would never want this, but more than my own needs, I care about your uninterrupted happiness even at the expense of my own heart. However, I know that actual seeing you, I am going to throw this out of the window and demand that you be with me or literally no one at all. I found a new song that embodies the vibe I want with you when we finally meet. “Personal” by Boybreed and Ajebo Hustlers. It is a cool smooth song that I want to dance with you all night to.

I can’t tell if this relationship will bring me infinite blessings, the biggest heartbreak of my life, or both, Either way, I wouldn’t give you up for a second,

xoxox,

Victoria

I Can Feel You

Dear Uche,

I’d say it was such a hard day for you, but it’s actually been such a hard week. This job is sucking the life from you like in the movie Hocus Pocus (an American classic you must watch). This is the reason I offered you the money to buy yourself out of the job early and I know that it was likely the wrong thing to do, but I did it from a genuine place. This time instead of being culturally insensitive by offering you money, I am trying to lean into my femininity to help you by being an even more cheery and upbeat to help lift your spirits. Though I want you to have relief, it is truly a selfish endeavor because I so desperately feed off of your infectious energy. Whenever you or I call each other, I can guarantee you will greet me like we hadn’t talked in days when we had probably just talked hours prior. It makes me feel as thought I am transported back to my childhood and my childhood crush finally started liking me. Sheer excitement everytime. You are so full of zest for life and positivity and if I could, I would destroy everything that takes that from you, including this damn job.

Or, am I jealous your job gets more of you than I do. How could I be jealous from 8000+ miles away? It’s because something flipped. When you casually mentioned this week that you were thinking about wanting to wake up to me everyday I was so stunned. Have we always been on the same page about our feelings for one another? You have brought so much to my life in a month. You calm my nervous system in such an unexpected way. I thought I needed constant contact in order to feel secure but it turns out I just needed someone who knew how to communicate and was consistent. Who knew, good morning and good night messages were meaningless this whole time.

Being with you has brought me closer to me. And she’s someone that wants to be closer to you…in due time.

With Tender Love,

Victoria